There used to be a time that people I considered my friends would reach out to me to talk to me or see me. That doesn't happen much anymore. Maybe my definition of friend needs to change.

I think something that frustrates me most in regards to that is when I finally see people, and only because I run into them at the same places, I get questions or statements like "Where have you been?" or "I haven't seen you in so long!" These are vexing things to say when I've just been home by myself trying to keep busy because no one has said they wanted or cared to see me in particular. My assumption in the matter is that people don't want to see me. I can only ask to see people or reach out to talk to people with little reciprocation aside from a polite party invitation before I decide that my company isn't actually wanted, but merely tolerated. I enjoy my company well enough, so it's fine. Whatever. Fuck it.